Who Are We?

The Scene is filled with a diversity of consenting adults – male, female, transgender and intersex; hetero, gay, lesbian, bisexual and questioning; single, married, divorced, widowed, partnered; young, old and in between; rich, poor and average income; and from a variety of occupations and backgrounds.  While our community includes people across the educational spectrum, we’ve noticed that we lean heavily towards the more educated end, with many kinksters having advanced degrees.

According to research gathered by the Kinsey Institute, interest in BDSM is more common than you might think …

  • 5-10% of the U.S. engages in BDSM for sexual pleasure on at least an occasional basis.
  • 55% of females and 50% of males reported having responded erotically to being bitten.
  • 14% of men and 11% of women have had some sexual experience with sadomasochism.
  • 11% of men and 17% of women reported trying bondage.
  • And, most importantly, a number of studies indicate no significant differences in psychopathology between BDSM practitioners and the general population

There are, of course, a number of myths and misconceptions about who we are.  Some will sound familiar to members of the GLBTQ+ community: that we are all emotionally disturbed, victims of child sexual abuse, unable to form lasting relationships, or just plain amoral.  Aside from a growing body of objective research which contradicts these generalizations, there is also the experience of kinksters everywhere.  The vast majority of us are stable and productive members of society, often happily married or partnered, and have a high sense of ethical values.

Another fallacy is that kinky people are incapable of having regular “vanilla” sex or relationships, that we are in a sense “addicted” to our kinks and fetishes.  That assumes, however, that kinksters are all the same, and that regular sex and kink are mutually exclusive.  Remember that BDSM is a spectrum, and not everyone falls on the same place on that spectrum.  Most people enjoy and try a few kinky things, while others are more adventurous; some do kink once in a while, others more frequently; only a handful attempt to live in dominant/submissive roles as a lifestyle (or “24/7”).